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Wow. WOW. Someone on Yahoo! Answers just likened adoptees who become adoptive parents to abused sons who become abusive fathers.

Wow.

As an adult adoptee who is planning on having biological child(ren) and adopting, I kind of want to post a question on Y!A that asks: Where can I find a discussion board on adoption that isn't full of people who are SO PISSED OFF to have been adopted that they generalize to negative extremes and compare adoptive parents to abusive ones? Who are not going to spend every waking moment lashing out at adult adoptees who support properly handled adoptions because their lives are incredibly blessed?

I'd post it, but it would get deleted.

I get it now - I really do - there is a large population of adult adoptees who were screwed over by whatever system handled their adoption. I am sorry for those people and sorry that those things happened. But I would like to be able to post a question or start a discussion on something adoption-related without getting my head bitten off for not being anti-adoption like the majority of Askers.

The big Q floating around Y!A: Do you think adoptive parents adopt for the child's sake, or their own?

What a stupid f'ing question. You can't adopt for ONLY the child's sake or ONLY your own sake. If you adopt solely to give a child a home, but do not wish to be a parent - that doesn't work very well, does it? If you adopt without caring about the child's physical and psychological needs, well, that doesn't make a lick of sense. The process of legally adopting a child is so arduous and often so heartbreaking that no one that selfish would deal with it.

The Bitter Askers would like everyone to believe that adoptive parents are evil because they adopt in order to fulfill their own "selfish" need to parent and not to meet the child's needs. So by their logic, it is better to ignore the plight of a child of ill-prepared parents than it is to adopt him or her. By ill-prepared, I mean drug-addicted, impoverished, mentally or physically incapable of properly caring for a child. And I counter: How many people have biological children for a reason other than a desire to be a parent? It's why people have kids! For the joy of having kids! But some imbeciles on Y!A would prefer that 1) the children who need a home remain in whatever inadequate situation they were born into and that 2) infertile couples remain childless because that's their lot in life.

Some, NOT ALL adopted children were ripped from their mothers' arms and sold to an unscrupulous infertile couple. Some, NOT ALL adult adoptees are sad, angry and bitter. Some, NOT ALL adult adoptees want to find their bio moms, are angry at their bio moms, are angry at their adoptive moms, etc. Some, NOT ALL adoptive parents lie to their children about their origins. SOME do. NOT ALL. STOP GENERALIZING. YES, some adoptions are coerced. YES, that's HORRIBLE. YES, there should be better legislation and better education to prevent such unnecessary and unethical adoptions from taking place. But NO we are NOT ALL unhappy, so can you please take your perpetually sad, mad, bitter club (the ones who attack every individual who innocently wanders in to inquire about the process about adoption - it is, after all, called "Yahoo! ANSWERS") somewhere else? I'll PAY the $20 or whatever it costs a year to get you your own domain so you can wallow in your anger somewhere else while individuals who can handle mature and intelligent conversations, with people of diverse viewpoints, do so on Yahoo.

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