my missive
Okay. Honest opinions, please. I have toned this down megawatts from its original:
Dear _____________,
Thank you for your notice expressing the concerns of others regarding our dog. We continue to appreciate how much you do to ensure that the building is a peaceful and pleasant place to live.
As you know, our dog is outfitted with an electronic collar, which emits static shocks when he barks. Because we have made the difficult decision to use this controversial and physically unyielding device, which also makes it undesirable for our dog to bark under normal circumstances (e.g. to warn against intruders or in the instance of injury), I would like to request more information about these incidents of barking, including dates, times, and duration. Currently I am aware of a few times that he has barked while waiting for me to come upstairs after I parked my car. I estimate that this barking (not a nonstop bark, more of an inquiry because he can hear me getting out of my car) lasted about 10 seconds.
If you could ask those who were disturbed to please provide documentation of exact dates, times, and durations of the barking, we would really appreciate it, as it will help us to determine if it really is our dog and, if it is, to work on other solutions to curb the barking. We will continue to do all we can to ensure that we, along with our dog, are being good neighbors in this condominium community and once again, would like to express our appreciation for your diligence.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Asshole.
Okay, minus the fond farewell, what do you think? It needs to be in the mail ASAP.
4 comments:
I think it shoulds great. Minus the salutation.
Send it certified. Get proof he got it. Hold on to a duplicate copy. Keep records.
I love it! God girl, even your LETTERS are well written.
I would omit the part about you hearing your doggie barking, simply because it admits guilt, and you really don't know if it IS only your dog who is making all the noise. Just keep pointing out the fact that you've already done everything you could possibly do to stop him from barking.
Other than that, it looks really good! Haha, I like the 3rd paragraph- it's like you're telling him in a very nice way, "in your face dickwad." And pssssh to your neighbors. They SHOULD prove it.
And I agree with crazyfemale- make sure you copy it and it certified. Make him sign for it- and maybe attach a pair of earplugs. Haha. J/K- Sort of.
thanks guys! it is signed, sealed and delivered (minus the chunk about the barky.)
Daddy like ... I say add some foul remarks about his bald head shining and making Kona bark, poor communications skills, etc.
-Meh
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