7.24.2007

grump

I used to love weddings. Now I have a list of things I hate about them.

1) Gratuitous slideshows. Seven songs, twenty-five baby pictures each, do we really need to see every bad hairstyle you ever had growing up?
2) Bouquet tosses. You know something's wrong with a tradition that you have to bribe and threaten people to participate in.
3) Idiot bridesmaids and their self-absorbed speeches. Two words: Choose carefully.
4) Cake in the face. Who made up that stupid crap?
5) "Butterfly Kisses." There are lots of less icky songs that dads and daughters can dance to.
6) Long buffet lines. There's nothing you can do about this one.
7) Overpriced drinks.
8) First dances that go on forever. It's mean to force people to stare at you twirling around a dance floor for more than 3 minutes.
9) Receptions that are indistinguishable from the last one I went to.
10) Most wedding dresses. I hate most wedding dresses. What is the world coming to?

7 comments:

Brian said...

I was at a wedding that had two bridesmaids who went on and on about how the bride loved to shop, trolled for boys, and sulked when she couldn't decide what to wear. They made the lucky girl sound like quite the catch -- too bad it was all true.

damned_cat said...

hehe ... i wonder if hubby was having second thoughts after that speech.

at the wedding i went to, the maid of honor's speech was all about ... herself. she highlighted all her worst qualities (which she was rather proud of, like the fact that she sometimes drank herself into oblivion on weeknights) but finally managed to throw one small thing about the bride into the speech. something about how she once helped her find her car the morning after.

weddings - ick.

Brian said...

Actually, I think he was having second thoughts when she bought a red dress for their church wedding. A learning experience for all, including the now-divorced couple.

damned_cat said...

hey! funny. i also know of a couple who got married in spite of a red wedding dress. they too are now divorced ... hester prynne types take note!

Dan said...

ah weddings. i'm boycotting them. everyone thinks "it'll last forever" and then it all goes to shambles. i'd rather not be witness to that.
plus it's difficult to find a date that doesn't have the crazy eyes. like i take a girl to a wedding means we should some day get married. ugh. then family/friends wonders why i show up stag.

damned_cat said...

HAHAHA the crazy eyes. wooooo.

i'm all for bringing a date - that way when you eat three servings of flan you can blame it on them.

Dan said...

there's no way you can blame someone else for 3 servings of flan. nope, no way, no how.