if you see me coming home, turn me away

MORE rain. I am ... so excited.

I love Scholastic Book Clubs but could do without my kids ordering Klutz Press' Immature Pranks and Napoleon Dynamite Mad Libs. Other iffy offerings for the month of May (I know, where's my April leaflet?): XLNT Jokes: Cell Phone Joke Book; How to Draw Nintendo Heroes and Villains. Classroom lib is getting Gennifer Choldenko's Newbery Honor Al Capone Does My Shirts, and Thomas Rockwell's classic (which shamefully, I have yet to read): How to Eat Fried Worms. Yay for Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just In Your Class). At least it doesn't come with a whoopee cushion or plastic spiders like Gotcha! Again: A Prankster's Guide to Special Occasions.

When I was a kid, Scholastic sold kitten and Corvette posters, and the occasional calendar. Now they've got snakes-in-a-can, video game tutorials, and a guide to bending silverware.

Countdown to Spring Break: FOUR DAYS.