wee sing offensive songs

Yes, euphemisms are a form of censorship. So ... am I, in the spirit of linguistic awareness, freedom and justice for all, going to lead my kids in a hardy round of "Deck the Halls" this year? Nope, still skipping it, unless I have an extra 30 minutes to attach a dictionary lesson to it. Because first we'll have to look up the word "deck." Then "boughs," followed by "don" and of course, "gay" because by then I'll be scolding them for tittering uncontrollably, and don't even get them started on the word "titter."

For some reason, even "fa-la-la-la-la" makes 5th graders turn bright red and explode with laughter.

Anyway, I thought long and hard (at least it'll be a year or two before that phrase causes hysterics in a classroom) about our Xmas Program performance and settled on "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Because with 20-something kids, the holiday season is ... and it isn't. It was a tongue-in-cheek choice. For the last few programs I've tried to pick songs that stray from the beaten bell-jingling, hall-decking, sleigh-riding path. I really liked teaching the kids "Here We Come A-Caroling" two years ago, although again with the censorship - it's supposed to be Love and joy come to you, and to you glad Christmas too, and God bless you and send you a happy new year, and God send you a happy new year - I think we substituted "We wish you" for "God bless you" and "God send you." I felt horrible but that was the trade-off for not having to do "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" or something.

When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher taught us all sorts of fun songs, like "Nuttin' for Christmas" - can you imagine that now? "It's your fault my kid's a social deviant, you taught him a song glorifying violence, lying, cheating and stealing!" She also taught us "Senor Don Gato" - a song about a cat who dies but comes back to life on the way to his burial. Hm, maybe I could get away with that one. I mean, not for Christmas or anything ...