funnel cakes with a side of man

A student I'll call Littlest (because she is) came up to my desk today during the last 15 minutes of the day, which is usually time for them to read quietly, start homework, or talk to me if they want/need. Littlest came up to ask a question about the Social Studies homework but got sidetracked by the one picture I keep of S. and me at work, under the plastic desk cover. Usually it's covered with piles of paper I have yet to grade, but I'd cleared it all that afternoon, and there sat the photo of the two of us under the IHOP sign. Littlest went all bug-eyed and started hopping from one foot to another, and I could tell she really, really wanted to say something.

"Yessssss?" I asked, pointedly.

She blushed and looked away.

"Quesssssstion?" I pressed.

She giggled.

"Whenever you're ready to share," I said, turning back to the planners I was stamping.

She cleared her throat.

"You ... did you ... you went to IHOP?" she whispered. "In Kaneohe?"

"Yes," I answered, thinking maybe she was just one of those deprived kids who never got to eat restaurant pancakes.

But she continued: "You went to IHOP ... with a boy?!"

Have mercy. I closed my eyes, hoping she would take the hint and ask her Social Studies question. But when I opened my eyes, there she was, waiting for an answer.

"Yes, Littlest, but he's not really a boy ..."

This time she completely forgot to whisper. "YOU WENT TO IHOP WITH A MAN?!?!?!"

What teacher, I ask you, needs kids of her own, when she has 23 other people's kids to embarrass her?

Fifteen kids scrambled out of their seats and crowded around the desk to see what all the hubbub was about. Twenty minutes later, after the bell had rung and the classroom was emptying, I could still hear little pockets of conversation like "I bet that man is her boyfriend" and "I didn't know teachers ate pancakes!"

Replaced the pic with one of Kona, who cares that I already have six on display. At least they don't ask me personal questions about him.