second wind

Little Project One - down, done, damn, I'm tired.

This made me laugh until I cried. Who has not had The Bad Kiss? Mine was in high school ... instead of a Timid Lizard, though, I had a Curious Porpoise. He had a goatee. I'm not going to go into as much detail as K. Sammis, though. Lucky you.

This made me cry until I laughed. How close are we to being allowed to use individual student growth as a measure of AYP rather than the successive group accountability BS we've got going now? Time to stuff the "good intentions" of NCLB and get off the road to hell.

Current prescription: Teach her how to read.
Second opinion: Allow her to love to read. Teach how to select a book that she can't put down. Teach reading body language to develop empathy and interpersonal skills. Teach careful reading of her own emotions.

The Teeming Millions Say ... Shut up and do your job. Teach those kids how to take a test. Teach them that they're all the same. Teach them how many federal dollars they're worth. Don't waste your time teaching them how to care for small animals or each other, don't teach them how to take care of themselves. Just do your job, hold out the spoon. Teach them to standardize their every thought.

How bad have things gotten that I have to vigorously agree with this guy?

---

Momma Bear's letter, paraphrased and unembellished:

You should allow my son to turn in his homework at least two weeks late. How is he ever going to pass 5th grade if YOU refuse to be less strict? Why should he have to turn in his homework the day it's due? He does his homework, he just doesn't turn it in. That should be OK with you, because after all, he got it done. Giving a zero grade for homework not turned in on time is unfair. Every single one of his other teachers since first grade has given him one or two weeks to turn in late assignments.

I'm now going to be a really, really big bitch so that I do not turn into one when I take Judy Deluded down in our upcoming conference. Gentle reader, let me ask you: In what universe is it UNFAIR to give a zero grade for homework not turned in on time? I will tell you. In MY universe. I never give a zero grade for homework submitted late because standards-based grading does not allow it. If you do it, even if it's the last day of the quarter, I must accept and grade it. There you go. Another question: In what universe does a teacher go through a 5th grader's backpack to check if he did his homework? Again, in MY universe. Some kids interpret "Turn in your homework" as "Ignore me, please" so unless I physically go into their bags to retrieve the work (which may or may not have been done), I would never see it. Until the day their mother gathers it all up from the bag, puts it in a manila envelope, and demands that I accept and grade it all. And finally, in what universe should a 5th grader be allowed two extra weeks to turn in any particular assignment? Answer: none, because that's where I draw the line. Two weeks? If you're not already smoking crack maybe you should invest in some because your life's going to get a whole lot harder when your son's six middle school teachers throw him out of class on a daily basis for not having his work done.

Even college professors give a week to turn in late homework.

Maybe at the University of Easy Street, hon. Is that your alma mater?

My son said you got rid of all the work in the manila envelope without even looking at it.

Ah, you're right, why don't we just take his word for it even though the day he gave me the envelope I wrote you a note in his planner explaining that against my initial judgment I accepted and graded it all. I mean, don't go check that page (October 26) of his planner or anything. Really, don't. It's not like you wrote "Thank you so much!!" right underneath my message the next day.

Why don't you spend more time reminding him to turn in his homework?

Because I already give him preferential seating, modified assignments and a customized homework plan. When I could be conversing with other students I am checking for correspondence from you. When I could be praising someone else for efficient work I am making sure your son is getting his supplies out to get started on an assignment most of the students have already finished. When I could be monitoring the progress of the class in general, I'm making sure he knows what to tell you when he gets home so that I will never get another 3-page-long handwritten missive due to a total breakdown in communication shoved in my face first thing in the morning again. When I could and should be articulating with my grade level partner, I'm consulting with the counselor on how best to respond to your inanity. By the way, your son has nicer handwriting than you do.