why it sucks to be you

Rhetorical: I really don't think it's all that cool to keep important secrets from your significant other ... for instance, instead of talking smack about your girlfriend with your ego-stroking sugar mama, you should grow some balls and tell your girlfriend what's bothering you. And if you have human papillomavirus you should probably tell the person you're dating, as well as whoever else you're sleeping with just for kicks.

It's only fair, you know?

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i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm monumentally sorry, i'm so fucking sorry i made such a huge mistake. she's nothing, she's quirky, i don't listen to the retarded things she says when she's talking anyway.

Ah. I knew it. So the reason you've kept her around so long is not because she's intellectually stimulating (7 tries to pass English 100, anyone? I wouldn't listen to her talk either) but because she somehow manages to squish her boobs against you every time she sees you.

Suddenly it's not so hard to let go. Thank you.