Just got out of an IEP. Actually the meeting itself ended at around 3.15 but I held the school counselor and contracted therapist prisoner for an extra 45 minutes while I vented about K.K., whose hurtful behavior toward her peers baffles and angers me.

The school counselor then gave me the highest compliment I've received since I set foot on this campus in August of 2004 - my brain recognizes that I should fly with it, but I can only barely feel it. That's how body and soul tired I am.

It doesn't help that a gecko crapped on my blazer from a light fixture and then ran away laughing while we were going over measurable annual goals.

Exhaustion and fear - so difficult to mask. Gecko shit, so difficult to remove from rayon.

But I will put her words in my pocket, along with the therapist's encouragement (which honestly I'd fish for if she weren't already so forthcoming - it soothes the soul like nothing else), for another day when I can see something other than this gray overhang, taste something other than this gum I've been chewing since lunch, smell something other than dry erase marker dust.

Maori proverb: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." Cynical me: With the sun in your eyes you can't see much else either ... Tired and sad me: ... But the warmth would be nice right now.